My Brain’s Under Renovation—


I’m currently in the process of rewiring my TBI‑affected brain — which, frankly, feels a bit like trying to update a 1998 operating system using a hand‑crank generator. But here I am, diligently cultivating new synapses and building the cognitive reserve I’ll need to outrun the long family line of Alzheimer’s and dementia that’s basically waiting for me like a surprise party I never asked for.

For those of us blessed with a high‑octane, Type‑A monkey mind, the challenge isn’t just memory retention. It’s the relentless internal chatter — the mental equivalent of a toddler with a tambourine — that keeps the brain stuck in a low‑grade stress loop. My goal is to slow that down, literally and figuratively, by using the physical act of cursive writing to drag my brain out of its frantic autopilot and into something resembling deliberate, structural growth.


Why Cursive? Because My Brain Apparently Needs Handwriting Therapy

Cursive isn’t just “fancy handwriting.” It’s a neurological workout disguised as nostalgia — and the science backs it up.

A 2024 high‑density EEG study found that handwriting (but not typing) activates widespread brain connectivity, especially in theta and alpha frequency bands, which are essential for memory and learning.
🔗 Van der Weel & Van der Meer (2024):
https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2024.1333250/full (frontiersin.org in Bing)

  • Bilateral Brain Activation:
    Cursive requires continuous movement, forcing the left and right hemispheres to communicate across the corpus callosum — something my brain, like many brains, doesn’t always do unless bribed.
  • The Power of the Flow:
    Cursive mimics how thoughts should move: fluidly, not like a bullet‑pointed grocery list written by someone who forgot why they walked into the kitchen.

And this isn’t just about aesthetics — handwriting is increasingly recognized as a sensitive marker of cognitive health, especially in aging and neurodegenerative conditions.
🔗 Frontiers in Aging Neuroscience (2026):
https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/aging-neuroscience (frontiersin.org in Bing)


Why 20 Minutes? Because That’s When My Brain Finally Stops Arguing

Neurologically, 20 minutes is the sweet spot.

  • The 5–7 Minute Shift:
    It takes that long for my monkey mind to stop screaming about laundry, emails, and the existential dread of “what was I supposed to be doing again.”
  • The Plasticity Window:
    Once I hit flow, the next 13–15 minutes are prime time for building new neural patterns — without tipping into the fatigue spiral that TBI brains know all too well.
  • Consistency Over Heroics:
    Twenty minutes is doable even on days when my brain feels like a browser with 47 tabs open and one of them is playing music but I can’t find which one.

This aligns with research on cognitive rhythms and time‑blocking:
🔗 Ahead App Research — The Science of Time‑Blocking:
https://www.ahead-app.com/blog/the-science-of-time-blocking (ahead-app.com in Bing)


The Warm‑Up: Two Minutes of Drawing Infinity Like I’m Summoning a Portal

Before journaling, I warm up with two minutes of continuous figure‑eights.

  • The Drill:
    Fill a page with looping infinity symbols without lifting the pen.
  • The Goal:
    This “synaptic reset” quiets the monkey mind and preps the motor cortex for the sustained, fluid motion of cursive — like stretching before a workout, but for your neurons.

The “Anthropologist from Mars” Inventory: Because Humor Is Cheaper Than Therapy

Writing factually shifts processing from the amygdala (panic HQ) to the prefrontal cortex (the adult in the room). But pure clinical detachment can feel robotic, so I add humor.

The Prompt:
Write 10 lines describing your current activity as if you’re an alien researcher observing a confused human.

Example: “The subject is staring at a glowing rectangle while consuming a heated liquid stimulant. The subject is aware of a laundry pile nearby but is ignoring it with impressive determination.”

This technique is supported by research showing that externalizing thoughts reduces default mode network activity, which is responsible for rumination.
🔗 Neurosity — Journaling and the Brain:
https://neurosity.co/blogs/news/journaling-and-the-brain-how-writing-helps (neurosity.co in Bing)

Why This Works

  • Third‑Person Distance:
    Calling yourself “The Subject” creates psychological space from stress.
  • Humor = Cognitive Cross‑Training:
    To find the funny angle, your brain must shift perspectives quickly — a high‑level cognitive skill that builds resilience.

The Cursive Practice: Satire Meets Motor Cortex

Now combine the humor with exaggerated cursive.

  • The Drill:
    Write your alien observations in long, sweeping, dramatic cursive — the kind of handwriting that would make your third‑grade teacher weep with joy.
  • The Technique:
    When you get clever, you’ll want to speed up. Don’t. Slow down and make the loops even more ridiculous.
  • The Goal:
    You’re training precision and creativity simultaneously — the neurological equivalent of juggling while doing squats.

And yes, handwriting is increasingly being studied as a preventative tool for Alzheimer’s, thanks to its multi‑sensory, motor‑cognitive demands.
🔗 Atena Editora — Cognitive Benefits of Handwriting:
https://www.atenaeditora.com.br/post/artigo-beneficios-cognitivos-da-escrita-manual (atenaeditora.com.br in Bing)


So… Is This Sustainable?

Honestly, yes. It’s structured enough to work on your busiest days, playful enough to keep you engaged, and scientifically grounded enough to satisfy your inner researcher. Plus, it gives your monkey mind something to do besides narrate your to‑do list in a panicked whisper.


Remodeling the “Monkey Mind”

“While I’m deep in the weeds sorting through drafts and photos to catch up on my Japan travel posts, I figured it was time for a quick pit stop to share what my day-to-day life actually looks like right now. Spoiler alert: When I’m not mentally traversing the streets of Tokyo, my actual reality looks significantly less like a high-flying global itinerary and a lot more like a slow-motion science experiment. For those wondering how a recovering tech leader with a restless ‘monkey mind’ stays anchored between big trips, the answer turns out to be fewer bullet trains and significantly more agonizing over a single embroidery stitch. Here is a quick update on the current focus areas ruling my schedule—and keeping me from eating myself alive…”

When people find out I’m mostly retired, the question I get most often—usually delivered with a look of mild concern for my sanity—is: “But how do you keep yourself busy?

It’s a fair question. For decades, my identity was entirely wrapped up in being a high-flying, hyper-efficient, classic Type A tech leader. My brain was a finely tuned racing engine. But then, twelve years ago, a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) forced an uninvited, aggressive downshift. I eventually had to leave a high-octane career I absolutely loved and face the humbling, frustrating, and often absurd task of learning a “new normal.”

Today, my professional output consists of a few high-level consulting projects and stepping onto a stage for a keynote speech a couple of times a year. It’s just enough to satisfy the old ego. But the rest of my time? I’ve traded intense strategic planning sessions for balance poses and spreadsheets for satin stitches.

To keep my recovering brain healthy and resilient, I’ve dedicated myself to learning entirely new, wildly contrasting skills. If you had told the younger version of me that my daily schedule would revolve around Tai Chi and embroidery, I would have laughed you out of the room. Yet, here we are.

If you are a fellow Type A trapped with a restless “monkey mind,” here is how I spend an hour and a half every day keeping my brain from eating itself alive.

The Morning Routine: Rewiring the Hardware. My daily brain-remodeling project happens in highly deliberate, bite-sized increments. It turns out the brain doesn’t need a grueling eight-hour shift to change; it just needs consistency.

Phase 1: The Morning Beach Walk & Tai Chi (20–30 Minutes). Every morning, after a brisk 2-5 mile walk on the beach to get the blood flowing, I step in to the comfort of my living room for 20 to 30 minutes of Tai Chi.

Now, if you’ve never seen a former corporate Type A attempt Tai Chi, picture a Ferrari trying to drive at exactly 2 miles per hour. Every fiber of my being wants to power through the movements, but the magic of Tai Chi is in the agonizing, beautiful slowness.

  • The Brain Science: By forcing my body to calculate fluid, slow-motion movements in three-dimensional space, I’m giving my cerebellum (coordination) and parietal cortex (spatial awareness) a massive workout. Tai Chi triggers the release of acetylcholine—a neurotransmitter that essentially acts like a “save button” for new neural connections. It’s structural engineering for my balance and motor maps, heavily disguised as a slow-motion martial art.

Phase 2: Micro-Movements and Embroidery (20–30 Minutes). Later in the morning, I pivot entirely. I sit down for exactly 20 to 30 minutes of embroidery. Yes, embroidery. Stop laughing.

Going from high-level tech strategy to meticulously threading a needle is the ultimate exercise in humility. My primary motor cortex—specifically the massive chunk of real estate dedicated to my hands and fingers—is forced into a state of hyper-synchronized focus.

  • The Brain Science: Every single millimeter of progress requires intense visual tracking and micro-motor precision. This creates dense, localized clusters of synapses in my motor and visual cortices. Even better? The aerobic boost from my earlier walk and Tai Chi primes my brain with BDNF (Brain-Derived Neurotrophic Factor), a literal fertilizer for neurons. By the time I pick up the needle, my brain is chemically optimized to build and insulate these new pathways.

The Intermission: Taming the Monkey Mind. Sandwiched into this routine, I add two 15-minute sessions of mindfulness and gratitude meditation daily.

For a Type A personality, meditation can feel like a form of psychological torture. Sit still? Do nothing? Focus on my breath when there are problems to solve? It feels counterintuitive. But for a brain recovering from a TBI—and a mind naturally prone to swinging from branch to branch like a caffeinated chimpanzee—this practice is non-negotiable.

This double-dose of daily mindfulness allows me to:

  • Hit the neuro-brakes: It down-regulates my sympathetic nervous system (the fight-or-flight response that Type A’s live in) and dials down the amygdala, reducing the background anxiety of “not doing enough.”
  • Anchor to the present: Instead of mourning the pre-TBI past or obsessing over an unpredictable future, it forces my prefrontal cortex to anchor into the absolute current moment.
  • Foster structural resilience: Studies show regular meditation actually thickens the gray matter in areas involved in emotional regulation and memory, while thinning the areas associated with stress.

The Hardest Part of the “New Normal.” If I’m being completely honest, it is still really hard to admit—even to myself—that I’m no longer leading huge, Worldwide Initiatives. My ego still wants to be the one orchestrating global strategies, not sitting on a couch trying to figure out how a single French knot works. Stepping back to enjoy the absolute simplicity of embroidery and Tai Chi, sprinkled with a bit of meditation, required swallowing a massive dose of pride.

But there is a silver lining to this forced humility. While my inner overachiever might still throw the occasional tantrum, those around me have noticed a massive shift. They genuinely appreciate a new calmer, kinder, and much more patient Rane. So, while I’m primarily doing this to painstakingly claw back some executive function, my friends and family are just glad I’m finally learning how to breathe.

Twelve years post-TBI, I am not the same person I was in leadership team meetings, and that is finally okay. I’ve learned that keeping a brain healthy isn’t about running it ragged; it’s about challenging it with novelty, precision, and deliberate rest.

If you are a fellow Type A struggling to slow down, or if you’re navigating your own version of a “new normal,” I highly recommend building your own eclectic routine. Pick one thing that challenges your large-scale balance, one thing that demands microscopic focus, and throw in some stillness to keep the gears greased.

Your monkey mind might fight you at first, but your synapses will thank you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some fabric to tension, and it is going to take all the mental fortitude I possess.

New Year’s Resolution: I can’t do everything and that is okay!

Welcome 2021!  As we celebrate Martin Luther King Jr. Day today, I feel his quote is particularly fitting for this blog: ” Even though we face difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream.”

This week I am going to deviate slightly from van life travel.  After one year of retirement, touring the country– living in a van and experiencing life during a pandemic, I decided my New Year’s resolution would be that of being fully honest on my capabilities and accept I can’t do everything. 

Being a Type A overachiever, who believed and spent the last 40+ years if you put enough effort and determination you can do anything you want to try, it’s hard for me to now admit I am prohibited in doing everything.  Living with Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), now makes it no matter how hard I try there are things I just can’t do anymore well.  TBI is a hidden or invisible disability I have been living with the last seven years.  Many people don’t realize what is an invisible disability, a physical, mental or neurological condition that is not visible to others because they can occur in life but the person does not outwardly appear to have a problem since there is no need for a wheel chair, walker or crutches.  After spending years multi-tasking, sitting on multiple global projects, advisory boards, commissions, tasks forces and doing it all successfully, empathetically, and professionally it’s hard for  people who have interacted with me, that I just can’t do those things well anymore.  When you have TBI your Amygdala and occipital lobe can be damaged.  Your Amygdala is responsible for many important brain functions like, memory, learning, executive function and emotions while the occipital lobe controls your visual processing, distance and depth perception, object and facial recognition and memory formation.  Due to my damaged Amygdala and occipital lobe:

  • I now forget a lot of things and need lists
  • If I am told something in confidence I may forget and discuss it
  • I no longer have a filter and say things I should know not to say that may hurt someone’s feelings (lack of executive function)
  • My emotions are constantly on over load,
    • I get overly upset if I hurt someone and can’t stop worrying about it
    • I anger easily over silly things
    • I am quick to cry
    • I am quick to yelling and raising my voice
    • I feel like I need to apologize to my husband multiple times a day for my behavior
  • It’s difficult when I drive, I must concentrate really hard due to my challenge with depth perception and reaction time has decreased significantly
  • I get migraines often, feel woozy and need to nap daily

Because of this, I sold my business at the end of 2019 and retired.  I finally learned I couldn’t work anymore when I needed to nap daily, I’d get frustrated and set-off so easily, and if I had a hard day, I would be dizzy, nauseous and have a migraine.  So, Greg made the executive decision for us to hit the road and enjoy the vanlife and start RGBAdventures to document our adventures.  When you visit our blog, our YouTube, Facebook and Instagram it looks like all fun but you don’t see the tough days dealing with TBI.  In a social media world, we see all the positives and don’t share the challenges. It’s hard to be vulnerable when we live in a society that must show competence and achievement. 

I write this post for four reasons:

  1. To remind us that many people have disabilities and challenges that are hidden and we don’t realize and that we need to be more patient and understanding, especially in a time of COVID-19
  2. Don’t let social media get you depressed and feel like I wish I had that life, as that person probably feeling same challenges and difficulties as you but can’t really show it and wants to create positive influence in your day.
  3. If I personally hurt you by my actions, I am so sorry it wasn’t my intent and I can’t make TBI an excuse but hope it gives you some understanding to forgive me eventually.  And if you know someone who may have TBI please understand they may look normal but if they do something that upsets you try to understand that they may not have full ‘control’ of their brain anymore. 
  4. To remind myself and others that we can’t do everything and that it is okay to lean on friends, family and loved ones and admit when we need help.  I hope this also allows you to ask for help.

During this pandemic, we need to give ourselves and our community a break and be more understanding.  It’s okay for us to have a little more self-care and do a little less.  It is a great time to enjoy the outdoors and what mother nature can bring us to relieve anxiety and stress.  When I can’t control my brain, the one thing I appreciate the most living in a van right now and being able to control is being able to run, hike, bike, ski, paddleboard, swim and focus on my physical health.   It’s okay to be vulnerable, not be perfect at everything and let people help you.  If you want to learn more about TBI here is a great article.  Hoping for a positive and wonderful 2021 for everyone!